We like to present articles from our members, with a focus on personal and global parenting and community issues. Please contact our Executive Director at the PRC office with your ideas.
A few weeks ago, I overheard two mothers talking at the playground:
"Did you hear about that woman who had her baby at home?"
"No!"
"It's true. I heard that she had the baby under water and that her son was standing right there. Can you believe it?"
They never suspected that I was that crazy woman. It was not the first (or last) time people had expressed shock over my decision to give birth at home,
It all started when I became pregnant with our first child. My husband Paul and I are both attorneys, and I treated my pregnancy as if it was a case to be researched, analyzed, and argued. As fate would have it, I began my research with The Birth Book by Sears & Sears, and by the end of the first chapter, I was hooked on the idea of a natural, unmedicated birth experience. And so I began my journey from mainstream attorney to radical mom.
We enrolled in The Bradley Method natural childbirth classes and left my traditional obstetrician for The Maternity Center, a free-standing birth center run by midwives. We were so excited by our choices, but already people were rolling their eyes.
I felt empowered by The Maternity Center's philosophy that the mother, not the doctor, is the person most responsible for good pre-natal care. I tried to eat carefully and exercise regularly, and my pregnancy went very smoothly.
Then a few days before my due date,
my water broke in the middle of the night. My contractions
were excruciatingly painful, coming two to three minutes
apart and lasting one minute.
Despite my thorough research, I was scared. Nothing was
happening as I planned. The childbirth books described an
easy first stage of labor where the contractions would be
uncomfortable but not painful; however, from the beginning
my contractions hurt so badly that I didn't think I could
make it. But Paul and the midwife were calm and reassuring,
and six hours later, our son Peter was born, healthy, pink,
and screaming.
Within a hour, I could not believe how good I felt. I had not had an IV, a fetal monitor, an episiotomy, or any medications (other than post-partum Tylenol), and Peter had not needed any medical interventions either. We went home that afternoon, ready to relax, enjoy our son, and begin our new life.
We moved to New York when Peter was only one month old. Two years later, we started planning to have another baby and I began interviewing doctors and midwives, looking for a practice similar to The Maternity Center. Because my first labor lasted less than six hours, we did not think a birth center in the city was a viable option. I didn't want to become one of those local news stories: "Woman delivers baby on LIE. We'll have photos from our news copter at 11."
I decided to join a midwifery practice at North Shore University Hospital - Glen Cove which came highly recommended, but when I discussed my first birth experience with my midwife, she suggested that I consider a homebirth.
I pulled out my childbirth books, logged on to the Internet, and started researching again. I learned that for a normal low-risk pregnancy, a planned homebirth was actually safer than a hospital birth in terms of both mortality and morbidity rates.
I found a wonderful midwife, Jeanette Breen, who had assisted at almost 1,000 births. Like the midwives at The Maternity Center, Jeanette treated my pregnancy as a natural state of being, not an illness requiring medical treatment. She was confident, inspiring, and supportive, and I enjoyed every visit to her office.
Other than some difficult bouts with morning sickness, it was another smooth pregnancy. People are so friendly when they see a pregnant woman, but I would cringe each time I was asked, "Where are you delivering?" Only a handful of my closest friends could hear the answer with a straight face. Comments ranged from a doubtful "Really!" to an outraged "You and the baby will die!"
Then at 36 weeks, we were crushed to learn that our baby was breech, and as long as the baby was breech, Jeanette would not assist with a home delivery. I was devastated. All of our plans for a beautiful, relaxing homebirth had now been supplanted by the prospect of a scheduled cesarean.
More research! After trying everything
from yoga poses to ancient Chinese remedies, the baby still
had not turned. Then we were referred to a specialist at
St. Vincent's Hospital who could perform an external version,
where the doctor manipulates the baby into a head-down position
by pressing on the mother's abdomen.
The pain of the external version was worse than any labor
pain. The hospital experience with the uncomfortable IV,
the nerve-racking beeping of the fetal monitor, and the
hovering nurses was stressful and exhausting. I couldn't
imagine giving birth under those circumstances.
But the procedure was a success, and the doctor assured us that there were no residual effects from the version. We could proceed with the homebirth as planned!
Two weeks later, I woke up with a funny feeling and told Paul he should plan on staying home from work. Peter played in the backyard while Paul and I sat on the back porch, nervous and excited. Thankfully this labor seemed to be going at a much slower pace than the first.
At 9:30 a.m. I had a few severe contractions and my water broke. I called my midwife who said she would come right over. I also called my friend Lori who was planning to take care of Peter during the birth and asked her to come over after lunch. Paul began filling the birth pool which he had set up in our basement a few days earlier.
By 11 a.m. my contractions were coming every three to four minutes. Again I was shocked that everything was happening so quickly! Jeanette had still not arrived, and I called Lori to ask her to come right away. We put Peter in front of his favorite Thomas video so that Paul could help me through the contractions which were now unbearable, and I climbed into the birth pool to try to ease the pain.
Peter was curious about the birth pool and the loud noises I was making, so he came over and stood with Paul around the pool. He patted my shoulder, and Paul assured him that soon we would have a baby and I would feel better.
When Jeanette arrived at 12:15 p.m.,
I was at a low point. I could not believe the intensity
of my contractions, and I could not do anything to make
the pain easier to bear. But Jeanette was serene and encouraging.
She brought in her equipment, then examined me and said, "Whenever
you're ready to push,
go ahead."
I had not planned on having a water birth, but all of the sudden I felt an undeniable urge to push. I didn't want to push, and I remember saying, "I'm not ready. I need to rest." But I couldn't stop. It was as if my entire body contracted involuntarily and pushed the baby out.
After a few long pushes, Katherine was born at 12:49 p.m. Peter was overjoyed and shouted, "Our baby is born! Our baby is born!" Jeanette reached under the water and guided her up to my arms. It was the most beautiful moment of my life -- to hold my new daughter and to hear the delight in Peter's voice as he welcomed his new sister.
Lori arrived after fighting her way through traffic and was dismayed to find that she had missed the birth. Peter, who was now bored with touching the new baby and her umbilical cord, ran off to play with Lori and his new big brother gifts.
I thought that all my work was over, but unfortunately I did not stop bleeding. I lost a lot of blood, and Jeanette became concerned that we would need to go to the hospital. I began to panic, but Jeanette hooked up an IV and removed the blood clots that were preventing my uterus from contracting, and the bleeding began to subside.
The crisis was resolved, and the whole family curled up on the couch and got ready for a sleepless night with our new baby girl. Although there were difficult moments, our homebirth was an unforgettable experience that we will always treasure.
If you want to learn more, there are several good homebirth resources online. "The Homebirth Choice" at www.midwiferytoday.com and "Is Homebirth for You?" at www.gentlebirth.org are two well-researched articles about the risks and benefits of homebirth.